Happy, Happy, Happy

Happiness

She isn’t on a shopping spree. It’s not her birthday. Her husband didn’t buy her a big fat diamond ring. No, Tilly is happy cause she’s free. Free from bondage. Free from guilt and shame. Free from lofty expectations; of herself and the world in which she lives.

But it hasn’t always been this way for Tilly. She remembers well the torture of playing the pleaser game and never winning, and jumping through fiery hoops and always getting burned. She remembers the scalding tears, the aching heart and stretches of depression. She remembers running for safety and building walls around her heart. She remembers the anger and rage that ripped her world apart. She remembers the scornful voices shouting in her ears. And she remembers stuffing her pain way down deep and pretending she was fine. Heaven forbid that she ever let anyone see all that ugly inside her!

Then, one day, Tilly couldn’t pretend anymore. The dam of hurt was too hard to hold back. Little by little it began to leak till finally it broke, nearly drowning her in grief. She dropped to her knees and cried out to God. He must have been there all along because immediately he scooped her in His arms and held her as she sobbed. Amazingly, He was not appalled by the ugliness that poured out; all that anger and rage, rupturing like a festered boil. Instead, He touched her hurt, washed her clean, and dried her eyes. For the first time ever, she was free!

Every now and then Tilly gets off track. She takes her eyes off God and pulls away from His hand. She gets lost; angry, hurt and confused. Suddenly, she remembers God. She calls His name, and there He is again; just like the thousands of times before; loving her, encouraging her to keep up the faith and reminding her that He will never leave her nor forsake her. And that, my friend, is why Tilly’s so happy!

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