Growing up with a strict, religious parent, who taught everything was a sin, I wasn’t allowed to dance. I wasn’t allowed to wear shorts, or makeup, or my cute little skating skirt at the roller rink either, but I did. Too many restrictions breeds contempt. I always felt guilty, though. Like the time I went to a theater for the first time. I was twelve. The age of accountability. Old enough to decide for myself. After years of restraints I was hurled to the wolves with only my guilt-ridden conscience to protect me. Sitting there in the pitch dark, the smell of rancid popcorn trailing up my nose, and guilt feasting on my guts, was like watching the Shaggy Dog in the pit of Hell.
Guilt kept me in line. Fear ravaged my soul. Rage controlled my life. As a kid, I didn’t know better. As a grownup, I finally do. That’s why I don’t like religion. It’s mean, manipulative and cruel. There’s no room for grace. No room for love and forgiveness. No room for error. You goof up, you slide right into Hell!
Finally breaking free from those rusty chains of religion and brainwashing, I view things through my own eyes. I follow my own heart. At the age of 65, I got my first tattoo; twisted vines trailing down my right leg and foot, representing years of emotional bondage, and a beautiful butterfly representing the agony of breaking free.
So what does all that have to do with ballet? Everything. To me ballet represents beauty and strength, anguish and joy, tears and laughter. Never giving up, always pushing through the cocoon of transformation. Beauty, poise and grace are what we see on stage. Blood, sweat and tears got them there.
So I never learned to dance. But in my heart, I am a dancer. I mess up, fall down, get back up and keep dancing. I’ve ripped off the mask of religion, falsehood and self-righteousness. I am what I am. Saved by God’s grace. It’s good enough for Him, so it’s good enough for me!
I hope you enjoy my digital designs. Some of the pictures I used are picture tubes, others are downloads from the internet. Thanks for looking!
Thank you so much for stopping by. I hope to see you again!