Caricatures . . . It’s a Hair Thing

Almost as far back as the Dark Ages, I had this thing about hair. My dolls lived in fear, wondering which one would be next to get a serious haircut. Eventually, they all got one. When I ran out of dolls, I started on my hair. I always left enough to wrap it around rollers, though . . .

Men, have you ever tried sleeping on these things? It’s like laying your head on a pillow of nails! I tried sleeping sitting up, hanging my head over the side of the bed, tossing and turning all night long trying to get comfortable. Finally, I came up with a solution . . .

a bonnet hair dryer from Mars. It was noisy and uncomfortable and totally boring waiting for my hair to dry so I could take out the curlers and finally get some sleep.

Then came the teasing and styling, and tons of hairspray to hold it all in place.

Then I went through the perms and hair coloring phase, both were costly, time-consuming, and damaging to my hair. Then . . .

Susan Powter came on the scene and I saw my chance for freedom! No more sleeping on curlers! No more hair dryers! No more frizzy perms! No more teasing, styling and spraying. I was gonna shave my head!

Then I ran into a whole new set of problems, the double takes, the glaring stares (mostly from men), the innocent and concerned questions.

One day I was coming out of the lady’s room in a restaurant and a little girl stared at me and asked, “Are you a girl?”

Another time a woman asked me if I was ill.

Then a million other questions like, why do you wear your hair so short? Does your hair ever grow? Won’t you please grow your hair out for me?

My favorite, though, is the time my husband and I were checking out of Lowe’s hardware store. I was wearing a ball cap. The moment the checker started telling me about her bout with cancer, I knew where this was going. On and on she went as the line continued to grow. Finally, handing me my bags she smiled sympathetically and said, “Keep up the good fight!”

I don’t get angry or offended when people stare me down or ask me silly, stupid questions. It makes for lots of laughs around the dinner table!