My Friend, Gill

Like a giant he stood in the small, dimly lit Sanctuary, quietly adjusting to his strange surroundings.

I liked him right off —- ponytail, earrings and all.

Each word of his charming accent painted picturesque scenes and ancient villages of Italy.

His smile was warm and friendly, but his eyes were shadowed with loneliness and grief.

He had just served ten years in prison and struggles to fit into a harsh, unforgiving society. A society that slams the door in his face everywhere he turns. A society that clutches the keys to his bleak and lonely cell in which he lives.

He longs for his family, but their hearts are frozen. Their hateful words, like a vengeful sword, pierce his bleeding heart.

I wish they could hear him laugh. Listen to his heart. Feel his anguish.

But, like a sneering warden, they dangle the keys of judgement in his face; never letting him forget his twisted, tormented past.

From the day we met Gill, he became a huge part of our family. We loved him, encouraged him, and helped him in every way we could. My son was his pastor, mentor, oft time provider, and unconditional friend.

Sadly, it wasn’t enough.

Like a dog returning to its vomit, Gill returned to child pornography; hours and hours of internet child pornography. When that was not fulfilling enough, he became involved with a minor.

Her dad called the police.

When the police arrived at Gill’s house, they broke down the door to find him slumped unresponsive in a chair.

While the world was busy with their every day lives that warm sunny day four and a half years ago, Gill ended his.

Pedophiles are a dog’s bone in prison. And Gill promised himself he would never go back there.

Many people would say that the ten years our family invested in Gill were a waste. That he didn’t deserve love and understanding. That he was a worthless piece of trash.

But for God’s grace, we would all be a “Gill,” forever lost in the darkness of evil.

While many people recover from a broken home, sexual abuse, and abandonment, Gill never did. In spite of all our efforts, he chose a path that ultimately cost him his life.

Would we do it again? Yes. Gill was worth it to us. He was worth it to God. I only regret that he wasn’t worth it to himself.

Pornography is Satan’s supreme promise to pleasure beyond measure.

He leaves out the astronomical cost of your soul.

What is your life worth to you?

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