While other girls were dreaming of their Senior Prom, finishing school, and going to college, I was dreaming of having a baby.
After I got married, of course. I’m from the old one-room school with outside toilets; light years before premarital sex became acceptable.
Actually, I wasn’t even thinking about how babies were made. I just wanted one.
Call it maternal instinct. Call it insanity. I just wanted a baby.
To hold in my arms.
To love.
To protect.
To fight to the death for.
Finally, on a blissful, Sunday morning, four weeks before my delivery date, my dream came true. My tiny baby boy was born.
It was a bittersweet moment. My husband wasn’t with me, holding my hand and telling me everything would be okay; that our baby would pull through in spite of the doctor’s doubt and our baby’s breathing problems. We separated two months before our son was born.
Four years as a single mom and no child support was tough. I worked. I scrimped. I barely made ends meet.
I cried a lot.
Worried a lot.
Slammed doors a lot.
But I never stopped loving and caring for my son.
He was the reason for me to keep going.
Then one evening, at the least of romantic places . . . a service station, I met my Knight in Bermuda shorts, wire-rim glasses, and yellow button down shirt.
It was not love at first sight.
Nor was it love at second sight.
But as time went on, I fell in love with the gentle giant and married him. How could any mother not love the man who loves her child as she loves him.
Although I continued working to supplement our income, my heart was ever longing to be a stay-at-home mom.
Several long years of misery in the working field, I convinced my husband that we wouldn’t starve to death if I quit my job to stay home where I belong.
As with anything, unless you’re super rich, there were sacrifices. We couldn’t afford designer clothes and trade cars every year. We didn’t go on cruises or travel the world. Sometimes a simple trip to the beach was out of our budget.
But the trade-off and the investment we made in our son was worth all the luxuries in the world.
This morning, nearly five decades later, I sat reminiscing about my life. Suddenly, I felt a twinge of regret that I hadn’t done this and hadn’t achieved that and asked myself, why?
Then I remembered.
I smiled.
My stay-at-home mom career was worth all the PhD’s in the world!