Loneliness

~ Sandi Staton

From the dungeon of abandonment it ruthlessly came

Gripping my heart with fear

Tormenting my mind

Poking holes in my soul

Why was I chained here

What is my crime

 I must be ugly

Stupid

Unworthy

I just wish I could die

Then I heard His voice

I saw His torn bloody hands

And I cried

Help me Lord

Then He stooped way down

And lifted me up

He wrapped my shivering soul in His love

He calmed my fears

He healed my mind

And turned my loneliness to joy

~ Sandi

I will never leave you nor forsake you

Joshua 1:5

Published by Sandi Staton

So, I'm sitting here trying to figure out how to describe myself to you, and these are the words jumping up and down in my heart: I'm just a simple human being living in a complicated, messed-up world. I speak my mind. I love hard. My feelings run deep. When push comes to shove, I stand my ground. Sometimes I push back. Sometimes I walk away. I've surfed the crashing waves of life that threatened to destroy me only to make me stronger. I bear the scars of emotional rape, sadness, and depression. I've walked the golden streets of churches and religion only to be disappointed time and time again. And as a result, it's taken me seventy-five years to get where I'm sitting today; a sinner saved by grace through the blood of Jesus Christ. I fell at the cross. I repented of my sins, and Jesus saved and washed me clean. I still fall flat on my face. I still get dirty as a pig in a mudhole. And Jesus still picks me up, dries my tears, forgives me again and again, and continues walking close beside me. No one has ever loved me like that. And no one ever will.