Posted in Babies, Digital Art, Poetry, Writing

If You Love Something, Set it Free

Baby

As I sit here rocking you to sleep in my arms

I kiss your downy head and whisper

I will be the mother I never had

I will help you spread your wings

I will teach you to fly

I will catch you when you fall

I will cheer for you

I will fight for you

I will protect you

I will love honor and respect you

When you marry the girl of your dreams

I will step back

She will be your number one

Your true love

Your soul mate

And I will love her

When you have children

I will take another step back

Allowing you the joy and happiness

Of raising your own your own way

I will be the grandmother I once had

I will hold them on my lap

I will sing to them

Teach them Nursery Rhymes

And soar to unknown worlds with them

When you have grandchildren

I will take another step back

Watching from a distance

Sharing your joy and happiness

Feeling my heart swell with pride

Thanking God for blessing you

Your family and me

And though it may seem that I’ve fallen

Far behind the scenes

I know a piece of your heart

Will always belong to me

Because as I sit here

Holding you tightly in my arms

I promise to set you free

~Sandi

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Posted in Poetry, Spiritual, Writing

Monster Inside Me

Monster Inside Me

Some call it depression

Anxiety disorder

Bi-polar

Crazy

I call it Monster

She-Devil

Demon from Hell

I don’t know where it came from or how it got here

But it’s been my lifelong tormentor

My constant companion of blood and tears

Anger and rage

Fear and loneliness

Sometimes it lurks quietly in the shadows deep within

Other times it nearly charges through my chest

Ripping my heart to shreds

I’ve pretended all my life that it doesn’t exist

Who could love me if they ever saw the Monster inside me

Who would understand

Who would care

But I grew weary of hiding in the shadows of fear

Of pretending to be something I’m not

Of forever running from the truth

So I looked it square in the eyes and made peace with it

I admit that a Monster lives inside me

That I hurt others

That I am flawed

That I’m not always in control of my zillion emotions

That I don’t always like or understand myself

That I am not always the person I strive to be

But I thank God that He opened my eyes to the truth

That He loves me in spite of myself

That He will always be there for me

And that He is patiently taming the Monster inside me

~Sandi