How Would I Describe Myself to Someone?

Well, this is a tough one, because I can barely describe myself to myself. But I’ll try.

I’m like Pandora’s box that’s better left unopened. But, for those brave souls that have dared take a peek, they’re still by my side alive and well. The birds are still singing, the earth is still spinning, and life goes on.

So, Mr. or Mrs. Someone, on my lesser, complex side, I’m nice, kind, and considerate. I respect others and give one-thousand-and-one percent of myself in all that I do. I’m passionate, intuitive, and nearly think my poor little brain to death. I help people, whether I’m asked for it or not. Years ago, when I was out jogging, a young couple was having car trouble. So, while the wife slid behind the steering wheel, her husband and I pushed the car uphill about a quarter of a mile to their house.

I’m an expert at hiding my feelings, so you won’t know that behind my humor and laughter, I’m fighting a bloody war inside that I can never win. No matter how much I pray. No matter how much I cry. No matter how hard I fight.

To be completely honest with you, Mr. or Mrs. Someone, I have extreme anxiety disorders; about as many that have ever been written about. Well, maybe not that many; I do exaggerate a little. But, I am talking about Pandora’s box, remember? Therefore, I find it difficult to describe myself to you when I don’t know which self I am at the moment. Am I my real self, or my pretend self? Am I the tell-it-like-it-is self, or the timid, and shy self? Just pick one, because I don’t know, they keep me so confused.

It’s like this, Mr. or Mrs. Someone. I never know which self is going to wake up another self, and then another, till I’m in the middle of an all-out war with a legion of anxious selves that just won’t shut up and stop fighting! My brain becomes as confused as a rat in a maze, and my heart starts pounding like a team of runaway horses. And if someone, in the midst of all this chaos, stupidly decides to jerk on my chain, they better run because I’m one hundred percent positive that I will bite them.

No, Mr. or Mrs. Someone! Of course, I don’t like this about myself, and I judge and condemn myself harshly for it. It’s not like I sat on Santa’s lap eons ago and told him I wanted a cock-eyed brain for Christmas or begged my parents to buy it for my first birthday!

So, let’s just keep Pandora’s box shut. Let’s lock it, and throw away the key. I’m too exhausted trying to describe myself to you, today. Maybe tomorrow, or the next day, or the middle of never!

Nice talking to you, Mr. or Mrs. Someone. Think we’ll be talking again anytime soon?