Photography – Straight From the Heart

My son gave me permission to share this. He is a strong leader in our family and puts his heart and soul into everything he does. He never complains. He never feels sorry for himself. He never quits. But today, he is feeling very discouraged. He has MRSA. Not just one pustular bump, but twelve; the worst case his doctor has ever seen.

So this is what he shared with the family today:

Hey family, hope you all are doing good. Just sharing my heart about not quitting.

First, there is no failure in being tired, exhausted, having difficulty accomplishing a task, event, or mission and feeling like giving up or quitting. Failure is simply quitting when you know you can do and endure more, but you trade short-term relief for long-term regret. Quitting is the acceptable norm for our modern, mentally weak, soft, and sensitive culture–Christians included.

I’ve trained for nearly an entire year for the GORUCK Selection. https://www.goruck.com › I have pushed my body and mind into very dark places filled with short-term pain in hopes to develop a greater threshold for the pain and suffering ahead–not just for GORUCK, but for life.

Honestly, there have been two occasions I have felt like quitting and not attempting Selection due to all my travels and the recent infection with MRSA. I can quit and my family will think no less of me. My culture would say, “It’s okay, you had good intentions, there’s always another time.” I can quit–my body is constantly sore, at times I can barely walk, I don’t always feel like doing a 3-4 hour routine. Sore. Tired. Beat down. Mentally fatigued.

So why do the event to begin with? Why put myself through that much pain? Simple: I said I was going to do it no matter what when I registered for the event one year ago. No matter what happens. No matter what obstacles surface. No matter how plausible it may be to quit.

What’s at stake if I quit now? My word, my character, my integrity, and my own personal self-respect. For me, if I quit, what example do I set for my family and others who believe in me? Finishing Selection is not the ultimate goal for me. Victory is overcoming every obstacle and opportunity to quit before the event even begins.

When confronted with the temptation to quit ask yourself “what’s at stake if I quit?” Failure is simply quitting in the face of difficulties when you can do and endure more than you think. We don’t need courage when things are easy . . . we need courage when things seem impossible!!

Family, be strong! Be brave! Be bold! YOU can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens you! Be courageous! Fear not! Don’t quit–Finish the goal, the task, the dream, the event, whatever it is–Don’t give up, give in, give out, or quit!! What is at stake if you quit? The better question is, “What potential impact does my not quitting have on me, my family, others, and the Kingdom of God? Regret or glory–the choice is yours. And for me? I’d rather die than to quit!

Parenting is a full-time job of love and patience, teaching and learning, guiding and directing. A full-time job of trial and errors, pacing the floor . . . and letting go.

From the time a mother holds her infant in her arms and holds it to her breast, the natural process of letting go begins to unfold.

At first, we don’t see it. We’re way too busy changing diapers, filling bottles, and trying to catch a few hours sleep. The mere thought of him starting first grade is a trillion miles down the road.

Suddenly, it happens. You’re not the love of his life anymore. He’s dating. He gets married. He has kids. His kids have kids. They all have lives of their own to live and enjoy and to follow the star of freedom and independence. No one has the right to interfere with that.

Unfortunately, my mother didn’t get that. To her, letting go was like cutting off her arms. I guess through her abusive childhood and failed marriages she had lost so much already that she felt she couldn’t survive losing her kids too.

So she clung to me like clinging to the edge of a cliff.

I could write a book about the emotional damage she caused, the conflicting battles and severed relationship we had and the effect it still has on me. Maybe one day my life will be what it is was meant to be, but it may never happen on this side of heaven.

That’s why I’ve worked so hard through my fears and insecurities to set my son free. Why my heart gave him permission to spread his wings and become the strong and independent man he is today. He will not be controlled, and I will never impose my will on him; to manipulate and toy with his tender emotions. To me, that is the most deadly form of child abuse. It’s emotional rape and almost impossible to recover from. I love him way too much to slaughter his spirit.

Through a river of blood, sweat, and tears of letting go, I am reaping a bountiful harvest of joy and happiness through my son, his kids, and his grandkids. And when he takes me out, which isn’t very often due to his busy and exhausting schedule, he treats me like a queen. He warms my heart and makes every moment we spend together priceless treasures that no one can take away.

For me and my twisted emotions, letting go is not easy. But I’d rather die than sacrifice my son’s emotional well-being for my own selfish desires; to try to put him in a tiny box with no room to grow. His wings are way too big and strong for that.