Yesterday, my husband received a phone call from Publishing Clearing House. He won 7.5 million dollars. All he had to do to receive it was to pay $1,700.00. Registration fee.
For decades, my husband bought magazines he never read in hopes of winning a million dollars. So, when he received that call yesterday, he lit up like a Christmas Tree! It took my son and me both to convince him that it was a scam.
It made me realize, though, that getting rich was never one of our goals when we got married. Building relationships, spending time with each other, and being there for our son was our greatest investment.
I’m grateful for our growing family, for the fun and laughter we share together, and for the love, peace, and joy that comes through building healthy relationships. Being happy from the inside out is worth more than millions of dollars to me.
It was my husband’s birthday. Rascal, our beloved pet, died a few weeks before, and hubby was having a hard time getting over the loss. I didn’t want another dog to fall in love with; saying goodbye is just too hard. But seeing my husband moping around the house was even worse.
The dog pound is depressing, but here we are, eyes wet with tears, looking for the right dog to take home.
Rascal was special. We didn’t choose him, he chose us. He was the puppy next door; a beautiful Australian Shepherd mix, with tiger stripes and a silky white chest. Before we knew it, he was sleeping on our front porch, and then, living in our house. The grandkids loved him and he loved them. The kids at Pet Smart loved wrapping their arms around his furry neck. He even allowed grownups to pet him. But, on his own turf? Not a chance. He wouldn’t even let them in the house. PERIOD! But children were always safe. He was their dad, their best friend, their best-ever playmate. Always. Any time, any day or night.
After three times around the kennel, we were feeling hopeless about finding the perfect dog. There was one, though; a hound mix. That skinny, brown, short-haired dog with long legs and floppy ears. I didn’t want a hound. Buck didn’t care what kind of dog it was, he just wanted a dog. So, a hound dog is what we got.
She is the strangest dog we’ve ever had. After eight years, she’s still jumpy, as hardheaded as a bull, and as stubborn as a mule. She licks everything, barks at everything, and thinks all babies are hers by pushing their moms away.
She is definitely my husband’s dog. She sleeps with him and wakes him up whenever he stops breathing or has one of his recurring nightmares. She’s never been trained to do that, she just does it. She is an amazing dog. We fell in love with her and her quirky personality. That’s what makes her Bella!
As I sit alone in the stillness Beneath the starry sky I release my soul through the darkness In search for the reasons why
Why are hearts so arrogant Why do they starve for love Why do they break so easily Why do they push and shove
Why do they feel so empty Why can’t anything fill the void Why are they ever restless So anxious and annoyed
Why do they burn with anger When another disagrees Why are they never satisfied Why do they lust and greed
My soul returns from the darkness Revealing whispers of the night Of where wayward hearts went wrong And how to make them right
They abandoned their Great Creator And went their separate ways Down a dangerous slippery slope Not counting the price they’d pay.
They surrendered to the Evil One They believed and trusted his lies And followed him through the gates of Hell Where his laughter smothered their cries
The Evil One hates the Creator And all that He has made He prowls about in the darkness Corrupting hearts easily swayed
But there is healing for every heart Broken and tortured by sin When asking the Great Creator To make it whole again
So guard your heart with open eyes Never sleeping on the job And be not fooled by the Evil One He only seeks to rob
She could not tolerate broken things So she decided to fix it Every tear Every bleeding heart Little Miss Fix-it could fix it
She was the queen of her realm Commander and chief She had everything under control But in the process of trying to fix the world The world ended up breaking her soul
Little Miss Fix-it was easy prey For ravenous wolves in sheep’s clothing Her heart was devoured Her soul was crushed Her mind was mauled by confusion
Her heart was too broken To fix on her own Too distrusting and disbelieving So the only thing left for her to do Was entrusting it to God for healing
Little Miss Fix-it is much wiser now From the hard lessons she has learned She stopped playing God Jumped off the Throne And ran through the gates of freedom
The moral of Little Miss Fix-it’s story is Be careful of the choices you make Stop believing the lies you’ve been told Live only the life that is yours And leave all the fixin’ to God
Like an explosive volcanic eruption Angry words spewed across the page Vile Hateful Slanderous As if the Devil himself penned the words They pierced the heart Crushed the soul Provoked a storm within Revenge! The raging heart screamed An Eye for an eye A word for a word I will have the last say Then my heart remembered The treaty it signed To lay down the weapons To rid the armor of pride And put on the shield of Forgiveness How the heart struggled How it longed to get even But amid the hurt and anger Arose a heart of victory And all that remains of the letter Is ashes in the wind
Genesis 5:24 NIV Enoch walked faithfully with God; then he was no more because God took him home.
Heaven is looking brighter and clearer every day And the more wicked this world gets The more ready I am to leave How I loathe the hatred and lies The shootings and killings The butchering of babies still in the womb Where does this sense of entitlement come from? Where is the remorse? The shame? When was a lie ever the truth? Who opened the door to the pit of Hell? Do my prayers and tears reach Heaven? Has God turned His back on His creation? Or is He waiting for one more soul to believe in Him? The world has become a giant monster of evil I don’t want to be here anymore I’ve seen and heard enough I’m old and tired My feet are bruised and sore My legs tremble in weakness The walk has been long and arduous But I continue pushing forward Continue trusting and believing That at the end of the road Jesus is waiting to carry me home And I’m excited about that!
GOD I grew up thinking that God was looking down from heaven, arms crossed, frowning, and shaking His head in disappointment; a stark contrast between what I read in the Bible and what I was taught in Sunday School.
He’s your Heavenly Father, they said. His love is higher than the mountains, deeper than the ocean, they said. His love is unconditional, they said. You don’t have to earn it, beg for it, clean yourself up for it. Good or bad, it’s all yours, they said. My brain believed it, but my heart didn’t feel it, and I couldn’t settle for that.
I’m a sensitive, emotional human being that relies on my feelings, and if I can’t feel it, I’m paddling against the current of emptiness, frustration and confusion. And I can’t live like that. I have to feel God. I want, I need, I can’t live without knowing, believing, and feeling God in my heart.
So, I kept searching; crawling through the wreckage of my past, facing the ghosts, grieving my losses, wrapping my arms around the truth, cursing the lies and deceit of the people that said they loved me.
And there, in the midst of the wreckage, sat a shadowy figure staring into space, oblivious to the world in which he lived. My dad; in the flesh, but absent in the spirit.
Suddenly, in the crashing waves of anger and grief, I found my answer. When I finally opened my crying eyes, I saw God; smiling, arms open wide for me to come and feel His highest, deepest, unconditional love of my Heavenly Father. He was there all along; I just couldn’t feel Him. Now I do.
FAMILY That’s where relationships are born. That’s where parents love, discipline and protect their children, make them feel safe, and teach them how to spread their wings and fly. Family is the potter; children are the clay. Either they are lovingly shaped and molded into something beautiful, or they are ruthlessly marred and disfigured for life.
RELATIONSHIPS There’s no gentle way to put this: my family was screwed up. The most important relationships I always wanted, I learned to live without. For the sake of my own sanity, I walked away; I said enough!
I want to live a happy life. And, when I became a mom, I broke the chains of child abuse and loved my one and only child unconditionally, no strings attached. And as a result, he is a loving, caring human being, an awesome son, husband, father of four, and grandfather of nine, beautiful grandchildren.
There are no conflicts that we can’t work out. We all come together, laugh, work, and play together, because we know how important wholesome relationships are for each other’s well-being in a world that grows more stupid and evil every day.
CONCLUSION If we want a good life with a beautiful, flourishing flower garden, we have to do everything within our power to care for it properly. Otherwise, it will dry up, dwindle and die. And that’s no life at all.
She was beautiful with her long, raven black hair, dark eyes and golden bronze skin; a stark contrast to my fair skin, red hair and freckles. Even her name was beautiful: Shawna Lee. We were kids when we met, and though I have long forgotten her face, I have never forgotten her name. So, when I got married and became pregnant, I had the perfect girl’s name picked out. But I had a boy, so I saved that lovely name for when I had a girl. Sadly, due to childbirth complications and neumerous surgeries, motherhood was a one-and-done deal for me. However, when my short-lived marriage ended in divorce, my X remarried and named one of his two daughters, “Shawna Lee“. I don’t know why, but I’m glad he did. Goes to show that like people, some names are special and will never be forgotten.
Straight From the Heart 